livestudioaudience | Viewing Party 2

Yeah. The one where no one died because we won the coin toss at the beginning and went free.

[He closes his eyes and laughs bitterly.]

"The only way to win is not to play." Or something like that.

[Eyes still shut, he turns away a little, struggling with something until he finally says:]

Though it means the versions of us that originally belonged in that timeline--we killed them, too, when we switched places. They died instead of us, not knowing anything.

Junpei, that's--

[ it slips out involuntarily, in soft surprise -- she's not even sure what words were going to follow there because what else is there to say? And the worst part is that's twice now. Two separate people who'd hurt him and used him, who'd let him kill and die and they'd still gotten what they wanted.

And now, InterGal 7. A third time. It's a sick joke and it wasn't even funny the first time someone told it. ]

A coin flip. I can't believe... god. I'm so...

[ she has to take a second to steady herself so she can at least try and be coherent for him. ]

I'm sorry. [ a barely there smile. ] I'm not... I'm still not very good at taking this all in. I hate that I can't-- I can't do anything about it for you.

Edited 2017-09-10 12:20 (UTC)

[He's still not used to it--the idea someone would want to take his pain, carry his burden instead of the other way around.]

It's okay. I'm not... It, uh, turned out all right in the end.

[For him, it's been months since the events of the Decision Game went down. Who cares what happened to him in there, when, technically, none of it really happened? There've been more important things to focus on. The next big threat, back on Earth. Airlocked, here with his new family. His fingers find the end of Yuuri's braid and he plays with the tail of it, idly running it between his fingers.]

There isn't really anything I need anyone to do about it. It's just something that happened, and it's over. I don't mind talking about it.

[He sighs and drops his hand, resettles himself in his seat.]

It's almost more embarrassing than anything else. Decision Game-era Junpei was kind of a shit.

Edited 2017-09-10 12:51 (UTC)

[ Her smile grows a little warmer and a little more present even with the crease of a frown still on her face and she nods, just once. ]

I... I know what you mean. Sometimes I think about what I was like before all this. The things I did or felt like I had to do and I just... I can't believe I was every that stupid.

But we learn, don't we? We learn and then... maybe we can be a little better for it. Or at least a little smarter.

[ A little smarter, kinder, a little less afraid of letting people in and letting them know when you hurt. ]

...Can I... I know you've been watching the other seasons. Can I ask you something? I didn't... I didn't want to ask you before because I thought I might have to explain why. But it doesn't seem right now to... to keep it from you.

Uh, sure. Shoot.

[What could she possibly want to know? Dun dun dunnn.]

[ She opens her mouth to speak but then closes it again. For a moment she looks away out across the grass -- to the flowers, the memorial for Ruu. That seems to steel her and she takes a breath then turns back to him and sits up a little straighter. ]

I tried so hard to forget Ruu-chan. I couldn't stand it, knowing she was out there and I couldn't help. I tried so hard, there's still things I'm not sure I...

[ she trails off and then shakes her head. ]

But I need to know. I need to know for sure because I can't... I can't trust myself. But I can trust Kurumi.

Did... did she ever talk about her? Ruu-chan and-- and me.

...

[Of course. He should have known, really, and he remembers what they found after Kurumi was gone and what it said about Yuuri.]

It came up. At least once that I remember. In a letter they found after the trial.

What did she say?

[ she's still looking away. because she if she's right -- and she's sure she is -- then she's not sure if she can look him in the eyes while he tells her. ]

Whatever-- whatever it was. Whatever happened, I have to know.

[He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment, but opens them so he can be here, with her.]

She said it was the bear. That you were only pretending the bear was Ruu-chan, and that you were happy.

[ It's the answer she was expecting. Not the one she was hoping for, but the one she knew she was going to get. And it still hurts.

She's quiet for a long moment, her eyes distant and her knuckles pressed to her lips. Then all at once she sniffs, makes a tight, pained little noise of assent from the back of her throat and just nods, folds her arms across her chest. ]

I... mmm. [ another sniff. ] I thought. I thought that might be what it was. I remembered leaving the school with Ruu-chan but every other time... it was just the bear. It was always just the bear.

[ she presses her hands to her eyes, thinks for a moment that she might cry. But she doesn't and eventually she looks up again and meets his gaze. ]

... Thank you. I know how it makes me sound and... I don't...

Yuuri.

[He strokes her hair, then guides their heads together so he can rest his forehead softly against hers.]

It makes you sound like me, Dad, and Church, and most everyone else we know. And you asked, and now you know, and you didn't break like Kurumi thought.

[He's proud of her, like he's proud of Ardyn and Church. They're none of them heroes, but together--together they're something better than what they were. Yuuri's just a normal girl in unimaginable circumstances, and here she is, Junpei believes, the strongest of them all.

He moves his hand from her hair to find her hand, to weave his fingers through hers and hold on.]

We all have things we don't want to let go of. I... I don't know how to say how happy I am to be one of yours.

[ She lets out a hard breath that's almost halfway to being a laugh and maybe it might have been if it hadn't caught in her throat on the way out. It's not okay -- it's not going to be okay for a long while. But she knows now and maybe with that certainty she can make some shaky steps towards things being just a little better. ]

I'm not going to break now. Not when I've got so much I need to be here for -- when I've got you I need to be here for.

[ Yuuri smiles at him as she catches his hand in both of hers, gives it a gentle squeeze. She loves her family, wants desperately to be with them for as long as she can. But with Junpei it's just a little more than that and both of them know it. ]

So, no. I'm not letting you go. I'm never letting you go.

[If his eyes seem overbright for a moment, brimming with something wet, it's only a moment. He rubs the tips of their noses together, holding her hand, and returns that battered survivor's smile of hers.]

Appreciate it.

[He does. He appreciates her, feels that lightened chain around his neck get just a little bit lighter, knowing she's there with him. His voice lightens, too.]

Don't know if I can return the favor, though, what with you telling Sketch I'm clingy in bed.

[*Junpei remembered that.]

Patience is a virtue. Someday you may yet be throwing around Thundaga spells like it's nothing at all. Until then, we just need to be a bit more creative.

[ She laughs, short and a little surprised but it's still a real laugh. It looks like the sound of it startles her and she purses her lips tight but can't wipe the smile off her face in its wake. ]

Well it's the truth, isn't it? And I don't remember saying it was a bad thing.

[ Junpei's smiling. Junpei's cracking a bad joke. Everything is still about as terrible as she dares think it could get but it's little things like this that remind her no, it won't be like this forever. ]

I might have to be the one who's clingy tonight though. So I can make sure you actually get some sleep for once.

[He's in slightly better spirits when he lifts the bottle to his lips again.]

Mmm. Creativity. I do like the sound of that.

[his nefarious plan is working]

Any Lucian king or soldier can throw around arcane magic. It takes the particularly resourceful ones to get things done without that.

[It didn't take long to determine what memory had returned this week. In the wake of everything the trial had been...of course things would only be more complicated. At the same time as this, across the universe, in the wake of Roland's trial--what was it he'd remembered? An entire kingdom and planet, singlemindedly turned against him as though none of it had ever mattered. Accursed, Usurper, daemon-]

[So Ardyn didn't understand it. He couldn't understand it. Why, time and time and time again did people regard him with sympathy? Not just those surrounding him now, but Lunafreya and even Noctis himself. It made no sense that they didn't despise him and curse his name for all that he'd done.]

['Being remembered is probably the greatest compliment you can pay to the dead.']

['For some people, that's the thing they desire most. Even if they don't know it.']

[Forgiveness seemed such an impossible thing when hatred and anger were so much easier. He could still hear the memory of this time, you can rest in peace, though it was nearly lost in the echo of et nocte perpetua in desperatione that crept into his thoughts in the moments when yellow eyes turned blankly distant as they did right now. Ardyn's right hand moved to the scarf around his neck, as if he was missing the high collar to hide behind and wasn't sure what to do or if he should just walk out again.]

[...He'd given up on praying thousands of years ago, but he caught himself once again very, very desperately hoping this hadn't ended catastrophically for those that remained. There were a lot of things he needed to say to Noctis, and something he very much wanted to ask after all this was over.]

Edited 2017-09-10 21:16 (UTC)

...

[The moment hangs in the air. It's quiet heavy, quite thick, and Jane can feel it prickling at her senses, and - she knows there's a lot more under the surface, but this is no night to unearth that. She just nods, understanding and firm.]

Do you still want to be that person?

I thought he was a cyborg, though. I don't...I'm pretty sure he could substitute other things for fuel.

[It should be a good moment. A nice moment. But Ardyn and memory and forgiveness don't always get along. So this is...melancholia. This is the start of him slipping into the distance, and Church can't stand by and do nothing. Church stares hard from the doorway, mug of hot chocolate in hand, considering--okay.

He sets the mug down as he approaches with a soft clink and leans over the back of Ardyn's seat, sliding his hands over mostly unseeing eyes and calmly talking in his ear.]

It's okay to come back. Take a deep breath. We'll be here when you do.

['And I'm pretty sure someone most people wouldn't put up here, if they were in my place.']

[It hurt, in a way he couldn't articulate. Knowing that the sympathy he'd been shown in Insomnia held even now left an ache in his chest that felt sharper even than the Sword of the Father striking its target. The contradiction and sharp deviation from what was justified and expected just made no sense, and trying to comprehend it just led to the same conclusion.]

[Ardyn couldn't forgive anything that had been done to him. He resented, remembered, and refused to let any of it go. But the descendant of the line he hated and the brother he cursed, the king whose life he had personally dismantled...]

[Close your eyes--forevermore.]

[It was a long few moments before he acknowledged the hands over his eyes; when he did it was just to move his hand from his scarf to Church's arm. Trying, silently, to pull himself out of his own head with only limited success.]

[...Noctis was the ideal Chosen King, the selfless savior-...everything Ardyn Lucis Caelum had once wanted to be, with the friends his ancestor had never dared allow himself to have. In the end...they were one and the same, on wildly diverging paths.]

[And that was probably what hurt more than anything.]

...Ardyn. Amans, you're all right. You're in the past, this is all the past, I need you to get back to the surface now, okay? All you have to do is listen to me. You're fine. You're fine, you're fine, you're fine you're fine you're fine, come home.

[Ardyn took a slow and shaky breath as he tried to focus on the insistent voice in his ear, past the foreign sense of an ache behind his eyes and words stuck in his throat. Humanity was so...painfully fragile, wasn't it?]

[A pen appeared in his unsteady left hand as his right curled around Church's wrist. It was reckless and careless, but he could barely even find the words to talk and the longer he spent here the more Ardyn was struggling to hold on to whatever connection he had to reality. His left hand darted to the side where he knew the exit would be without even looking, and instantly the two of them were at the front door.]

...I can't. I can't take this anymore.

[In one moment they are there, and in the next, they're elsewhere, and it's one thing to know it's coming and another for it to happen. Church's hands drop, and he wobbles unsteadily for a moment--

--but he can work with front door. To open it and casually shove Ardyn out into the fresh air where they might be able to breathe better.]

Then sit this one out. I'll still watch it, and give you updates on him, if something happens.

Viewing Party 2 - R3: THE RE-CRY-ENING

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