livestudioaudience | R4 Viewing Party - no crying til the end (if you can help it)

[ Well... he's here. After that early bail from season 4 and initial refusal to watch season 1 before they found out who was in it... he's here. He probably shouldn't be, but he has to be.

Attempting to look up what happened hadn't helped - it looks like the fandom, in anticipation of the reruns, collectively decided to remove any existing spoilery details (save for the cast list) all in the interest of making things fun for the new fans that never got to experience this season. Any attempt he made to get them to spill on fan forums or spitter was met with simple "just watch and find out~ ::)"... and he was still sore about everything, so he wasn't in the mood to ask the people that would know. So here he is, seeing it for himself.

But honestly... a part of him also just wanted to see his brothers again. It'd been months, and all he had was their photo album. Even looking in the mirror wasn't good enough any more, as his own appearance had shifted too much, hair grown out because he didn't want anyone touching his hair if he couldn't trust them to give him the exact same hairstyle they always had, eyes still tired and weary...

They're going to die... they're already gone. Comatose, their brain scans corrupt or whatever. But at least for a while he can not just see but hear them too. Watch them be themselves, as terrible as those selves are...

He's sitting with his legs up and hugged tightly to his chest, watching the screen with dead, unamused eyes over his knees. ]

[Arianna has a Yuuri to support, but Choro is getting a light pat on the back as if to remind him he isn't alone.

Actually there's no "as if" about it.]

[ Oh... well that's appreciated

But now he feels kinda bad about being a dink ]

...Sorry about... blowing up the other day...

[Well, I'm pretty sure at this point we all know how this one goes. All together now!]

You need not apologize.

[Even if it was kind of distressing at the time.]

After what you had just learned, your feelings must have been overwhelming.

Y... Yeah. That's one way to put it...

[ On the screen, Osomatsu is... asking out a girl he just met ]

...Tch. Typical.

...my, Sir Osomatsu wastes no time, does he?

[Matsus: apparently at least as distinguishable as hedgehogs.]

No, he does not.

Because he's an idiot.

Well... it's true that he had little chance of success.

[Is she hesitant to agree that he's an idiot because it's mean, or because some would say the same about her?]

At least he seems cheerful about it.

[ Arianna you are definitely not stupid like Osomatsu is ]

He's cheerful because he's used to it and has no sense of decency OR dignity.

He's a piece of shit, don't let him fool you.

[ Choromatsu this your "dead" older brother/best friend(??) you're talking about here ]

[Well it's probably the "mean" thing anyway. Arianna isn't particularly skilled at being insulting.]

Regardless, perhaps to some it gives him a sort of earnest charm.

[For example, she really just said that.]

[ literally no one person in this house needs any coffee right now but Team Grief-Stricken Green Pals are probably going to need some fuel for this season.

So Choromatsu gets a pat on the shoulder and then a hot cup of matcha held out for him to take if he wants it. ]

...here. I made some for myself and I thought you might need some too.

[ Choromatsu barely even acknowledges Yuuri at first, too busy watching the two elder Matsunos talk about their situation. Not even the shoulder pat gets his attention, as people have been doing this enough to him today as signs of support that he's started to become numb to it all. It's only when he sees the cup of matcha that he finally realizes she's here. ]

Oh... thank you.

[ he takes it but doesn't drink any. ]

[ There's a silence as she settles in next to him -- in any other situation it might've been almost companionable. But then eventually, she speaks up, her voice quiet. Just quiet enough that if he wants to, it should be easy enough to ignore her. ]

They're not exactly what I was expecting. Your brothers, I mean. Then again, I'm not really sure what I was expecting.

[ For the most part, Choromatsu had been fine. Any crying that he'd done prior to the reruns starting had at least been done away from everyone else, if it'd been done at all. Even seeing his brothers on screen and knowing their inevitable fates hadn't gotten him going yet.

Until he catches this exchange.

"Mm...that would be unusual if they were, but if they are not here, then I do hope they are home safe."

"My brothers are all very capable of taking care of themselves, though! So I am not too worried about them. They will be alright."

"Well, hopefully you'll be back home with them in no time."

There is something to be said about the power of the little things, the way just a tiny little detail can needle its way in and make everything come crumbling down. The anger that Choromatsu has been using to hide his grief all comes down in an instant when he hears those words, and with a low, strangled whine, he finally gives in to the tears falling down his face, sobbing quietly under his breath.

They did not come back home. And he wasn't all right-- he was picked up and put through the exact same hell but on his own, without even one other brother. He wasn't safe at home, taking care of himself just fine, he was ground down to mincemeat and still putting himself back together, only alive now because of Kip, Heart, Queenie, Nari and the others. And now he has no clue anymore if Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu are safe themselves. If they took half of them for this sick game, what was preventing the rest from being in this "final season" now? And him unable to do a thing. Unable to go back in time and prevent this from happening to the eldest or leaving now to find and protect the youngest.

And so he breaks down instead. ]

Edited 2017-10-20 20:28 (UTC)

R4 Viewing Party - no crying til the end (if you can help it)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

and now to put the crying in a subcomment