(( Do I win anything for longest Champion title, asking for a friend. ))
1: The 80s Prepared Him For All This Chrome
[ Our story begins with Nishitani looking out the window. Yep, that is sure is space. His eyes light up. This is completely insane, but when has that ever deterred him? ]
Ahhh, you've gotta be fuckin' with me! Is that seriously space?
[ Should you find yourself unfortunate enough, you will perhaps run into Homare Nishitani, a man known largely by his reputation... in Sotenbori, Japan, anyway. As for what he's doing here, he's as curious about it as anyone else. Everything about the way he moves to the way he keeps checking his pockets seems to indicate that he's missing something valuable to him. What a weirdo.
He's hunched around the window, moving animatedly as though he might see something besides the void of infinite nothingness if he just turns his head the right way... that's where you come along. He waves a hand, eyes still locked on the small window. ]
Hey, hey, have a look at this, will ya?
[ (1b:) Uh, let me know if you'd like to fight him because I'll be honest, this might be a trap. ]
2: How Much Till It's Okay?
[ Well, the food sucks. It's not like Nishitani grew up eating caviar and sucking on Chardonnay. That shit started when he got into the Yakuza proper. It's a damn shame the food here sucks so bad, though. Nishitani sits sprawled on a table, legs dangling off the armrest, rocking back and forth. That's not how you sit, dude. He seems to have opened around 10 of those silver packages and not a single one has yielded any results. ]
Maaan, this is worse than prison food. At least in prison I could have a smoke. [ He sighs and sits up, rolling his shoulders to get a crick out of his neck. Or maybe just because it's something to do. ] If I haveta eat another one of these dried sacks of shit--
[ 2b: Maybe you were walking up to the cafeteria, or maybe you've been there the whole time and he didn't notice you. Point is, now he does, and he's making his way right over. ]
Well, hey there, how's it going? [ That smile is never a good sign. ] You wanna get better food, right? 's not just me, right? [ He's. Getting closer. ] See, I was thinkin' the other day... and I think got us a plan! Whatcha say? You'll help me, won'tcha?
3: Time to kinkshame the TDM
[ The announcement goes off, "Champion of ---- is dead," the voice says. A copy of the autopsy report appears on Nishitani's PIP, with each gruesome detail listed, along with a photo of the corpse in question.
Nishitani stares down at his PIP, a giggle escaping his lips. ]
Oh-ho? What's this now? Things're finally gonna get excitin'?
[ He presses a few buttons at random, evidently looking for the body's location. He's... really excited about this murder thing. He nods as more facts come in. He probably would've done if differently if you ask him... ]
Ahh, what I wouldn't give to know who it was, I owe 'em one hell of a kiss...
[ Don't mind him, he's just... excited. Really. Excited. Maybe stay out of his way, or don't. ]
Homare Nishitani | Champion of the Kijin Clan, a Subsidiary of the Omi Alliance | Yakuza Zero
1: The 80s Prepared Him For All This Chrome
[ Our story begins with Nishitani looking out the window. Yep, that is sure is space. His eyes light up. This is completely insane, but when has that ever deterred him? ]
Ahhh, you've gotta be fuckin' with me! Is that seriously space?
[ Should you find yourself unfortunate enough, you will perhaps run into Homare Nishitani, a man known largely by his reputation... in Sotenbori, Japan, anyway. As for what he's doing here, he's as curious about it as anyone else. Everything about the way he moves to the way he keeps checking his pockets seems to indicate that he's missing something valuable to him. What a weirdo.
He's hunched around the window, moving animatedly as though he might see something besides the void of infinite nothingness if he just turns his head the right way... that's where you come along. He waves a hand, eyes still locked on the small window. ]
Hey, hey, have a look at this, will ya?
[ (1b:) Uh, let me know if you'd like to fight him because I'll be honest, this might be a trap. ]
2: How Much Till It's Okay?
[ Well, the food sucks. It's not like Nishitani grew up eating caviar and sucking on Chardonnay. That shit started when he got into the Yakuza proper. It's a damn shame the food here sucks so bad, though. Nishitani sits sprawled on a table, legs dangling off the armrest, rocking back and forth. That's not how you sit, dude. He seems to have opened around 10 of those silver packages and not a single one has yielded any results. ]
Maaan, this is worse than prison food. At least in prison I could have a smoke. [ He sighs and sits up, rolling his shoulders to get a crick out of his neck. Or maybe just because it's something to do. ] If I haveta eat another one of these dried sacks of shit--
[ 2b: Maybe you were walking up to the cafeteria, or maybe you've been there the whole time and he didn't notice you. Point is, now he does, and he's making his way right over. ]
Well, hey there, how's it going? [ That smile is never a good sign. ] You wanna get better food, right? 's not just me, right? [ He's. Getting closer. ] See, I was thinkin' the other day... and I think got us a plan! Whatcha say? You'll help me, won'tcha?
3: Time to kinkshame the TDM
[ The announcement goes off, "Champion of ---- is dead," the voice says. A copy of the autopsy report appears on Nishitani's PIP, with each gruesome detail listed, along with a photo of the corpse in question.
Nishitani stares down at his PIP, a giggle escaping his lips. ]
Oh-ho? What's this now? Things're finally gonna get excitin'?
[ He presses a few buttons at random, evidently looking for the body's location. He's... really excited about this murder thing. He nods as more facts come in. He probably would've done if differently if you ask him... ]
Ahh, what I wouldn't give to know who it was, I owe 'em one hell of a kiss...
[ Don't mind him, he's just... excited. Really. Excited. Maybe stay out of his way, or don't. ]