R4 Viewing Party - no crying til the end (if you can help it)

[serrata]

I'm sure this is fine.

WELCOME TO THE R4 LIVEWATCH: AIRLOCKED REACH EDITION

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second investigation

[scourgingstars]

[There was so much running through his head that it somehow evened out to white noise like rushing water and pounding rain, like the rumbling of a tremendous magitek engine roaring to life beneath the snow and-]

[-and that was Ardyn, crossing so far into 'not okay' in a matter of seconds that he came out the other side dangerously quiet. He stood up without a word, turned perhaps a little shakily, and walked out of the room with Luscinia following barely a second behind him after leaving her perch on the back of a chair.]

[serrata]

[ So hey, this is fine. Yuuri's not watching Airlocked but there's only so many things it can mean when Ardyn goes storming out of the room (and you bet she's keeping an eye out for exactly that sort of thing on a Friday of all days) there's only so much it can be.

She gives him about half a minute (she doesn't have your self control, sorry Ardy) before she heads off after him. Where have you disappeared to, Dad, please don't say it's the roof because not everyone can warp up there. ]

[scourgingstars]

[He didn't make it that far. Ardyn ended up in the kitchen, sitting at the table with his head in his hands and a thousand-yard stare of infinite regret focused on nothing while Luscinia preened at his hair as she did when he was wherever he'd currently gone.]

[serrata]

[ That's what she thought. She hangs back for a few moments before walking over and very gently setting her hand on his arm. She doesn't want to startle him but she doesn't want him getting lost wherever he's gone before she can get him back. ]

Hey. I'm here, okay? Talk to me.

[scourgingstars]

[He didn't flinch or react at Yuuri's hand on his arm, Luscinia ruffling her feathers restlessly. It was a long few moments before Ardyn said anything, and when he did his voice was worn down by exhaustion into something utterly deadpan.]

...Uncertainty would have been worse--knowing they were dead and having no concept of how.

[serrata]

[ Ah. That's what she thought. But still it makes her heart sink to hear it. She immediately thinks of Noctis, already having an unimaginably terrible time and she feels ill at the thought of him walking into the sitting room and seeing this.

Thank god for his crew. Yuuri's not entirely sure she has it in her to fight two battles today.

She makes a soft noise of assent and settles into a seat next to him, hand still on his arm, just in case he needs something to anchor him to here and now. ]

Just having to sit back and imagine all the ways it could've gone wrong. I know what you mean. But it's still... it's not easy to see. Not at all.

[scourgingstars]

One would think it easier, after everything else.

[Guilt was a hell of an emotion and it was not one he cared for.]

[serrata]

[ She gives a dry little "hah" with no humor to it whatsoever. ]

You'd think. But it never does.

[ And, bizarre as it is, she hopes it never does. She doesn't want any of this to ever become any more mundane and she never wants to be any less angry about what Intergal 7 has done to them. ]

Are you... [ 'going to be okay' she almost says but stops herself. Stupid question. ] Is there anything you need? Just tell me. I'll do whatever I can.

[scourgingstars]

I'll manage; it isn't as if we were close, to say the least. It's Noctis I'm worried about.

[Ardyn dropped his hands from his head, taking a deep breath and sighing.]

...come here?

[please hug your dad yuuri]

[power_of_dominance]

[It’s one thing to know death is coming, but both of Noct’s loved ones at once? Two of the sweetest, purest people in that doomed place, and someone is monster enough to murder both. Soma hesitates, there are others closer to Noct’s heart here than he is, but the man is still his captain and friend...

And then Ardyn leaves quickly and quietly, clearly at a horrible level of Not Good. Soma is frozen completely, not knowing where to go or what to do except maybe scream in frustration and grief for both men here and the lost lives there. But what good would it do? He can’t help either of them and screaming will only make things worse.]

We can’t watch this anymore. It’s destroying us.

[misanthropicprinciple]

[Junpei actually bolts after Ardyn immediately. Someone else will keep watching, someone else will take care of Noct. The King he's sworn himself to with blood and name is Tenmyouji Ardyn--not the Chosen King, not death, and not even the unraveling of Intergal 7.

He doesn't stop Ardyn, though, just follows him until he stops or slows of his own account, at his back and just to one side--the advisor. The guide.

When Ardyn finds somewhere to rest, he stops with him. 'You're stuck with me.']

Dad.

[scourgingstars]

What.

[It wasn't an argument, complaint, or even really a question--it wasn't much of anything, Ardyn just sounded tired and dead inside as he dropped into a kitchen chair with Luscinia on his shoulder.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

Nothing. Just letting you know I'm here.

[He slides into the next chair over and looks at something else.

For once, boredom isn't a part of Junpei's vocabulary. He can wait. He'll wait forever. Ardyn will talk or he won't. Someone will make tea or they won't. The important thing is that nobody's left alone right now.]

[scourgingstars]

...thanks.

[He didn't say much after that, at first. A few minutes of staring at nothing and trying to push back a few dozen echoes of unfortunate memories followed instead, until Ardyn spoke up in the same exhausted voice.]

It's-...this should hardly be as troublesome as it is for me. Noctis has far more right to be affected by this than I do.

[misanthropicprinciple]

You know, you keep saying that, but it doesn't sound any more convincing with repetition.

Guilt isn't any less powerful than grief, Dad. And it's not a competition, anyway. The whole thing is fucked up enough to hold both of you, and more.

[scourgingstars]

...Has anyone ever told you that you're a very difficult person to argue with?

[misanthropicprinciple]

It runs in the family.

[He shifts to face Ardyn properly instead of watch the microwave clock display slowly change.]

Is one of them worse than the other? For you.

[Unspoken but not unstated: I like Noctis well enough, but you're the one I'm here for, no matter what.]

[scourgingstars]

Many things seem to, not the least of which are stubbornness and a sentimental streak quite a few miles wide.

[Ardyn sighed and ran a hand through his hair, a little steadier but still clearly shaken.]

...I don't know if either's worse. I was more involved with both of them than I want to admit to, in no way that was even remotely positive. However, I could have done without seeing Lunafreya dead a second time.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Yuuri and Junpei both go running after Ardyn. Church gives him time, watches the gang as they investigate, react to Prompto, and generally speaking do not take things very well.

And he gives Ardyn even more time after that. But. Eventually. Church goes looking for him.]

[scourgingstars]

[Once he'd talked to the others and managed to even out a little, Ardyn had gone back to their room--sitting on the bed and fidgeting with the charm around his neck Yuuri had given him.]

...I'm alright, I think. Just...since I'm sure you were worried.

[motherfucking_ghost]

You're not all right, you're just calmed down. Hard to be 'all right' from that.

[scourgingstars]

It's a start, if not much else.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[He comes to sit next to Ardyn.] I'm not saying it's not a good start, just, you're not actually all right is all.

[scourgingstars]

...no, I'm not.

[He leaned on Church's shoulder, admitting that without arguing the point.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

's not something any one of us can really help with except to be here for you. And Noctis. Sorry I wasn't around, just wanted to give you some space so you weren't crowded.