Viewing Party 2 - R3: THE RE-CRY-ENING

[misanthropicprinciple]

We got castmates. We got clues. We got crap to bitch about. They get a library? And a LAUNDRY MACHINE?

Welcome, murderfam... TO THE R3 LIVEWATCH.

Comments

sunday funday

[shikosuki]

[ He's watching all this commotion go down and... well, he probably should be more worried but ]

...So what are the chances of this being staged.

[ after the shit in their round he has trust issues ]

[scourgingstars]

...I don't know.

[hi, guess who's seven shades of antsy and pacing with a pigeon on his shoulder.]

Even Niflheim's army has better aim than that, one of them should have been at least more seriously wounded than they have been. But at the same time, that sigil--I've seen it before. One of those security guards at the autograph session showed it to me in warning about a group of space pirates.

So either this whole invasion is staged or we're dealing with painfully incompetent--Noctis, don't even think about it--

[Deep breath, Ardyn.]

...I-...we can't discount the possibility that this could be an actual takeover of some sort, but I doubt it would be broadcast in the first place if the network lost control of things.

1/2

[shikosuki]

That's exactly what I mean. Maybe the network made a deal with the pirates to get them to do this? Might be more ~shocking~ than letting it turn out to be someone the champions already knew aga--

[shikosuki]

...are you okay?

[scourgingstars]

Great, I'm spectacular, it's fine, my descendant's an idiot that I'm sure is planning something brainlessly selfless.

[Focus, Ardyn.]

Never mind. It's safe to say with what we know at the moment that pirates under that flag are an actual threat, but this could be any myriad of things. The network could be using the sigil alone just to add to the staging, for example. The whole situation could be manufactured by the Counselor or perhaps whoever he answers to.

[ratherdoweddings]

Whether it is or isn't, it's real to the inmates. You don't think the network threw in with real pirates, do you?

[shikosuki]

Well, of course. "P.A.L.'s" "takeover" was real to us, too.

...Maybe. I wouldn't put anything past them. They're already pretty shady to begin with. Maybe they've been dealing with pirates all along.

[ratherdoweddings]

It's like corrupt governments dealing with gangsters! --No offence to Oda-san, I mean.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Boooo, over the top villain! [Church chucks some popcorn at the screen, as you do.] Where's the subtlety? Where's the nuance? Why's a guy gotta make cyborgs look bad?

When Not!Guy Fieri shows up

[cyan_maid]

[Jane had been concerned with the rumblings when they first turned up. The editing team had done a remarkable (read: despicable) job of hyping up some sort of confrontation, and when she sees the armored beings attacking the trapped prisoners? She's shaking. She's frightened. If any of them die, it's 100% likely that they'll be for real dead, not plugged into a simulation, unless this is all some elaborate dramatic bullshit? Who knows, honestly, but she's still worried.

And then she sees him.

Black and red and orange and yellow and the frosted tips and the same voice, almost comical as he tosses the body of poor, poor Fourtinbras into the kitchen. The unnatural, glowing cyborg eye. But it's the face overall, that eerily familiar face that used to pop up in BettyBother ads, the one Dirk and Roxy showed her with news archives from her future (their past, her future) outside of the White House with the Dual Presidents of the United States.

High Chaplain of Interstellar War, Guy Fieri.

Everything just. Stops. For a good moment, it feels like nothing but the footage on the screen is moving. And then Jane's notebook and pen fall out of her hands, and she makes a high, soft noise and begins to shake - it's a reaction only Xander and Togami would recognize, but it's easily identifiable to anyone nearby that Jane is about five seconds away from a meltdown.]

[stitch_in_time]

Jane? Jane.

[Well that looks- if not like a panic attack, then pretty freaking bad regardless. Hopefully not the kind of panic that'll be exacerbated by a grip on Jane's shoulder, because that's what's happening.]

Jane, you need to breath, okay? Slowly. Stay with us, here.

[Is Xander nearby. If so, he's getting motioned the fuck over here if he's not already on his way.]

[cyan_maid]

[She IS here, that's the problem, she needs to be THERE, she needs her knife, her knife which is in the room she's been sharing, the knife that should be going into this fucker's throat for everything he's done-

The sound does stop when she feels the hand on her shoulder, going instead for deep breaths. Deep breaths that might be coming a little too fast. Blaze Dudely, he calls himself. Bullshit.]

It's - he's - he's Guy F-Fieri, Guy fucking Fieri, h-he...t-the Condesce made him High C-Chaplain of Inters-steller War, he's - fuck -

[The rational part of her mind knows that, if Bolton could look exactly like Alton Brown, it's not out of possibility for some whacko named Blaze Dudely to look like Guy Fieri, but. But.]

[stitch_in_time]

I know what he looks like. And yes, he is incredibly fuck. But he's not here, the Condesce's not here. You're safe, and you need to breath.

Once we track them down you can have first shot at 'im if you want, but for now just breath before you hurt yourself, yeah? Come on, nice and slow.

[ratherdoweddings]

Jane-chan? Jane-chan, what... Everyone, we need to help Jane-chan! Stay here with us, okay? Breathe. Breathe first, then tell us.

[cyan_maid]

[Too late. She's gone. She's back in the Medium getting lectured by her friends about just how alternative facts the reality of her life has been and she cannot do a single thing to right the wrong of the man on the screen being alive]

Oh God - oh God, fuck...

plows into the dogpile

[curdle]

Jane...

[ But it's obvious that she's not going to reach her by whispering. How could she? She doesn't know what's truly happening, what this means to her, but she knows something is too much for her to bear. ]

Jane! Please -- dost hear us?

welcome to the trash fire

[cyan_maid]

[She can hear you, she can hear everything, she can hear the ping of chat clients from years ago, signalling another drunken ramble of pink text about the "future" coming her way, she can hear an affected Southern drawl trying to brush off the seriousness of the "past" and she can hear the rumble of a 1967 Chevy Camaro SS Convertible's engine as it gets ready to take viewers on a journey to the best DINERS, DRIVE-INS, AND DIVES and she is about ready to scream.]

I...I-I...

[daughterofthemark]

Dame Jane? Dame Jane! Please! Hold on, and stay with us!

[Dauntless Order: May prevent mortal damage and restore HP to 1 ally line for 3 turns.]

[cyan_maid]

[Shit dog those Sovereign powers are fucking sick can you teach the Heiress sometime

But no seriously, the words manage to snap Jane to a slightly more lucid state of awareness, and the world around her seems to move again and have color and sound and - and she's okay. She's alright. The camera is focusing on Dr. Price being a cowardly little shit.]

I-I'm...I...can't watch...

DAD IS HERE

[kingshaming]

[He hadn't been watching- he had been up outside, taking out his frustrations at the whole show with his sword. But the moment he steps inside he hears the hoopla and...

.. well, he doesn't need to know why Jane is making that noise. He doesn't care about Guy Fieri, or that someone is dead or the fate of their counterparts at all. He just steps in, using his mass to bully through and just-

-scoops Jane up and right out of the room. Mid-conversation if he has to]

BLESS

[cyan_maid]

[It had been a back and forth, honestly - people getting her to calm down, then someone else unintentionally riling her up again. Jane literally cannot help but careen between the two. At the very least, however, she sees Xander coming before he scoops her up, so instead of going stark still and hyperventilating, she clings, holding him like she hadn't held anyone since she was small, since her Dad could still lift her in his arms and carry her to bed when she tried to stay up with him to watch crime dramas and just couldn't keep her eyes open anymore.

And. She's not hyperventilating? But she is still breathing fast and shaking and trying not to make that noise anymore but there is just too much going on in her head to really make sense of anything outside of Guy fucking Fieri being, apparently, back from the dead.]

X...Xand...Dad...

[It's kind of obvious that, in this state of mind, her brain has mashed the two concepts of Xander and Dad into one. Hence the slip.]

[stitch_in_time]

A third-party hostile takeover that just happens to give the studio exactly what they want? No way it's not staged.

[daughterofthemark]

Indeed. Whether Sir Price was aware of it is unclear, but this was most certainly as planned as what happened in our "season."

[refusedtoleave]

[Her icon says it all.

She just pauses, still holding her cup up to take a sip.

Wha-?]

[daughterofthemark]

[Well. This has been a shitshow. Arianna knows that word now, and it seems to fit. But also...]

Goodness! Dame Apollonia has conducted herself most impressively.

[...Arianna has developed her 23rd or so Champion crush.]