Viewing Party 2 - R3: THE RE-CRY-ENING

[misanthropicprinciple]

We got castmates. We got clues. We got crap to bitch about. They get a library? And a LAUNDRY MACHINE?

Welcome, murderfam... TO THE R3 LIVEWATCH.

Comments

When Not!Guy Fieri shows up

[cyan_maid]

[Jane had been concerned with the rumblings when they first turned up. The editing team had done a remarkable (read: despicable) job of hyping up some sort of confrontation, and when she sees the armored beings attacking the trapped prisoners? She's shaking. She's frightened. If any of them die, it's 100% likely that they'll be for real dead, not plugged into a simulation, unless this is all some elaborate dramatic bullshit? Who knows, honestly, but she's still worried.

And then she sees him.

Black and red and orange and yellow and the frosted tips and the same voice, almost comical as he tosses the body of poor, poor Fourtinbras into the kitchen. The unnatural, glowing cyborg eye. But it's the face overall, that eerily familiar face that used to pop up in BettyBother ads, the one Dirk and Roxy showed her with news archives from her future (their past, her future) outside of the White House with the Dual Presidents of the United States.

High Chaplain of Interstellar War, Guy Fieri.

Everything just. Stops. For a good moment, it feels like nothing but the footage on the screen is moving. And then Jane's notebook and pen fall out of her hands, and she makes a high, soft noise and begins to shake - it's a reaction only Xander and Togami would recognize, but it's easily identifiable to anyone nearby that Jane is about five seconds away from a meltdown.]

[stitch_in_time]

Jane? Jane.

[Well that looks- if not like a panic attack, then pretty freaking bad regardless. Hopefully not the kind of panic that'll be exacerbated by a grip on Jane's shoulder, because that's what's happening.]

Jane, you need to breath, okay? Slowly. Stay with us, here.

[Is Xander nearby. If so, he's getting motioned the fuck over here if he's not already on his way.]

[cyan_maid]

[She IS here, that's the problem, she needs to be THERE, she needs her knife, her knife which is in the room she's been sharing, the knife that should be going into this fucker's throat for everything he's done-

The sound does stop when she feels the hand on her shoulder, going instead for deep breaths. Deep breaths that might be coming a little too fast. Blaze Dudely, he calls himself. Bullshit.]

It's - he's - he's Guy F-Fieri, Guy fucking Fieri, h-he...t-the Condesce made him High C-Chaplain of Inters-steller War, he's - fuck -

[The rational part of her mind knows that, if Bolton could look exactly like Alton Brown, it's not out of possibility for some whacko named Blaze Dudely to look like Guy Fieri, but. But.]

[stitch_in_time]

I know what he looks like. And yes, he is incredibly fuck. But he's not here, the Condesce's not here. You're safe, and you need to breath.

Once we track them down you can have first shot at 'im if you want, but for now just breath before you hurt yourself, yeah? Come on, nice and slow.

[cyan_maid]

But that's - what if it's really -

[What if it really is him what if she brought him back what if she's looking for them all





Jane tries really hard to breathe like a normal fucking person. It's. Difficult.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

...I'm fucking sorry, did you just call internet meme and diner foodie Guy Fieri someone who has anything to do with interstellar war?

Okay, seriously, that's two benevolent figures you've turned into impossible hate machines of the future, what the fuck is wrong with your universe?

[Sorry, was anyone ever actually under the impression that Church has tact, because...]

[scourgingstars]

Really not the time, Leonard.

[stitch_in_time]

[Okay, you know that throat slashing, 'stop talking' gesture? You're getting that right now. And a quick death-glare that usually means something very big is about to blow up.]

[cyan_maid]

I don't know, I d-didn't create it!!

[WOW THANKS CHURCH EVERYONE WAS DOING A GOOD JOB CALMING HER DOWN and now she's so amped up again]

And I didn't witness it, I saw - news articles, a-and Youtube footage - whatever R-Roxy and Dirk could p-p-pull up in archives, and - and when he s-swore in the fucking Insane Clown Posse as the D-Dual Presidents of the United States and - fuck, he just ushered in the apocalypse like it was nothing-

[ratherdoweddings]

Jane-chan? Jane-chan, what... Everyone, we need to help Jane-chan! Stay here with us, okay? Breathe. Breathe first, then tell us.

[cyan_maid]

[Too late. She's gone. She's back in the Medium getting lectured by her friends about just how alternative facts the reality of her life has been and she cannot do a single thing to right the wrong of the man on the screen being alive]

Oh God - oh God, fuck...

[ratherdoweddings]

Shh, shh, it's okay. We're right here. He's not. Whoever this man is, we're safe for now and we'll find some way to fix this. I promise, okay?

[cyan_maid]

W-We can't fix it if she's the one who b-brought him back, if s-she's out there...Y-Yurika, he...he's bad, he was just a funny meme and t-then he got powerful and all of Earth went to hell in my world because of what he helped do, if that's h-him, because she let him...

plows into the dogpile

[curdle]

Jane...

[ But it's obvious that she's not going to reach her by whispering. How could she? She doesn't know what's truly happening, what this means to her, but she knows something is too much for her to bear. ]

Jane! Please -- dost hear us?

welcome to the trash fire

[cyan_maid]

[She can hear you, she can hear everything, she can hear the ping of chat clients from years ago, signalling another drunken ramble of pink text about the "future" coming her way, she can hear an affected Southern drawl trying to brush off the seriousness of the "past" and she can hear the rumble of a 1967 Chevy Camaro SS Convertible's engine as it gets ready to take viewers on a journey to the best DINERS, DRIVE-INS, AND DIVES and she is about ready to scream.]

I...I-I...

[curdle]

[ She's going to try and say something, even something utterly meaningless in its vacuous wrongness, but everyone else is closing in and there's only so much she could accomplish alone, and with the others she'd be useless, and... ]

I'll just hold thy book for you. [ also Xander is carrying her away eventually, so! Thomasin snatches the book and pen off the floor, watching wide-eyed. ] Don't think on it, please -- or anything -- just breathe.

[cyan_maid]

T...Thank you...

[Thomasin is worth so much more than she gives herself credit for. She really is, because just that offer is...it's a kindness Jane needs. She's going to need that book later, not be barred from it - it's her weapon of observation against everything wrong about this universe and she needs that. That, and she'll have to write "FUCK" in giant bold letters in it later.]

[daughterofthemark]

Dame Jane? Dame Jane! Please! Hold on, and stay with us!

[Dauntless Order: May prevent mortal damage and restore HP to 1 ally line for 3 turns.]

[cyan_maid]

[Shit dog those Sovereign powers are fucking sick can you teach the Heiress sometime

But no seriously, the words manage to snap Jane to a slightly more lucid state of awareness, and the world around her seems to move again and have color and sound and - and she's okay. She's alright. The camera is focusing on Dr. Price being a cowardly little shit.]

I-I'm...I...can't watch...

[daughterofthemark]

[Oh hey, this feels familiar.]

It is all right. You can stop if you must. The rest of us will continue in your stead.

[cyan_maid]

I, I...

[Please guide her away because it's actually. Hard for her to move? Everything feels like it's been locked into place.]

DAD IS HERE

[kingshaming]

[He hadn't been watching- he had been up outside, taking out his frustrations at the whole show with his sword. But the moment he steps inside he hears the hoopla and...

.. well, he doesn't need to know why Jane is making that noise. He doesn't care about Guy Fieri, or that someone is dead or the fate of their counterparts at all. He just steps in, using his mass to bully through and just-

-scoops Jane up and right out of the room. Mid-conversation if he has to]

BLESS

[cyan_maid]

[It had been a back and forth, honestly - people getting her to calm down, then someone else unintentionally riling her up again. Jane literally cannot help but careen between the two. At the very least, however, she sees Xander coming before he scoops her up, so instead of going stark still and hyperventilating, she clings, holding him like she hadn't held anyone since she was small, since her Dad could still lift her in his arms and carry her to bed when she tried to stay up with him to watch crime dramas and just couldn't keep her eyes open anymore.

And. She's not hyperventilating? But she is still breathing fast and shaking and trying not to make that noise anymore but there is just too much going on in her head to really make sense of anything outside of Guy fucking Fieri being, apparently, back from the dead.]

X...Xand...Dad...

[It's kind of obvious that, in this state of mind, her brain has mashed the two concepts of Xander and Dad into one. Hence the slip.]

[kingshaming]

[He doesn't judge her for it, same as he hadn't the first time- Elise had made the same mistake a few times when she was small. And he had made the same to his wet nurses and teachers and nannies after his mother passed. At our weakest we always turn to our parents- he understands that better then most even with a father like his.

So he doesn't question it, just heading to a quiet room and sitting on a couch so she could still cling if needed, making small noises in his throat and rubbing her back]

[cyan_maid]

[She'll end up admonishing herself for it later, honestly, but for now? Now Jane is able to focus on the soft sounds and the steady rhythm of touch on her back, and she presses her face into Xander's shoulder and. Doesn't cry, no, but her breathing sounds thick and wet and she is just so scared.]

It can't - can't be h-him...n-not the real one...p-please, God, no...